2017 has been a life changing year. It has broken me down, more than once. And each time I have found the strength to pull myself together again.
After all the noise settled down, and I was able to carve out some time for myself. I reflected on the events of 2017 and started to think about what the key take-a-ways are. I know in years to come 2017 will be seen as the year that shaped me. And because of that, I wanted to pull out 5 key lessons, phrases or words that described the year. So when things get difficult on my journey I can look back and remind myself of what I am capable of.
“the capacity of an object or substance to withstand great force or pressure”
I have to take a moment to pat myself on the back for making it through this year. At the top of the year my Grandad had a stroke. Which by the grace, he pulled through and made it through the year. I remained professional and steely determined while I battled bulling, harassment and racial prejudice in the workplace. And remained calm, peaceful and reliable while those closest to me were diagnosed with life changing medical conditions.
“the ability to do something that frightens one; bravery”
Many people have complimented my bravery and courage for standing up for what is right, and against racism in the workplace. At first I didn’t see it as brave, I was doing what was right. No one should be made to feel less than just because those around them are ignorant and insecure. It wasn’t until, after, hearing someones similar experience, I can understand why people say it was brave. There is an assumed fear of what the company may do, whether or not you will lose your job, what will that mean for your responsibilities. For me, any fear may have had, was over powered by my deep rooted value for standing up for what is right.
“the ability or capacity to do something or act in a particular way.”
The idea we can do anything we put our mind to is so true. We are encouraged to think of big impossible tasks, so when they don’t come true, in unrealistic timescales, we give up. So instead, I started to think about all the “small” things I have been able to do in the face of adversity. How did I remain professional and courteous to those who did not deserve it? How was I able to be present and reliable when those closet to me needed me the most? Where did I get the strength to keep going, when I really wanted to stop? That’s real power.
By summer my whole world had shattered around me. Although I didn’t know it at the time, I started to grieve for the life I always imagined I would have. At first I felt like I had failed. I had not lived up to my expectations and I felt like I was running out of time. The futures I had imagined with those closest to me never accounted for their new life changing conditions. The fantasies I had imagined to come true would now be almost impossible. It was after I had taken the time to grieve that I realised with this great lost presented a new opportunity to create a new life, one much better than I had imagined before.
“complete trust or confidence in someone or something”
As the year came to a close the Universe conspired in it’s magical way to let me know all was not lost. Things would from now on be different, which meant I needed to adopt a different way of thinking, adopt new habits and harvest more faith in myself, and in the belief that anything is possible.
If I can experience the worst of my imaginings without trying. For sure with effort I can experience all the great things.
If I can see it in my mind. I can hold it in my hand.