It’s been an Oprah kind of week. She gave an amazing speech at the Golden Globes; about finding your voice and standing up for what’s right. So it only felt appropriate to title this post something related to Oprah.
At some point last year I watched one of Oprah’s interviews. The details of the video escape me, all I remember is “letting it go, so that you can grow”.
I didn’t really understand what it meant at the time, but this week has really made it clear for me. Quite frankly I do far too much at my 9-5. Much more than my fair share and much more than a manageable level of over and above.
On Wednesday I almost broke down in tears. Because after a while, when you continuously give more and more of yourself. People start to expect it and ultimately start to under appreciate you. And when you the individual feel that. It is most certainly time to stop and give back the extra baggage you have been carrying around, back to the rightful owner.
Forgive and forget
Honestly I have never understood “forgive and forget”. Why would you forgive someone who has hurt you deeply? I had always seen it as a curtsy given my the victim to the victor. But when I stopped to read the definition this week I realised it’s a curtsy that you give yourself.
“stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, flaw, or mistake”
When we hold onto resentful feelings we only hurt ourselves. So if we are unable to forgive we will continue to hurt.
This ties in with focusing on the things that you can control. Which I am sure will be a reoccuring message in these posts, as I struggle to only focus on what I can control. Resentment will encourage you to want karma to come and kick that person or persons butt. But you have no control over when karma will do that.
So the more you expect karma to get them and it doesn’t happen. The more resentful you because, believing karma is letting them get away with it. Which in turn causes disappointment in the society you live in. And it is at that point when all the lights at the end of all the tunnels of possibility start to etch further and further away.
The only way to get those lights back is to free yourself, and forgive yourself of the burden of resentment.
I’m not saying it’s going to be easy
I am only at the beginning of my forgiveness journey and there is a lot that needs to be forgiven.
I’m going to start with the small things first. For example, not feeling resentful about or towards others don’t carry their weight at my 9-5. To do this I will focus my attention on what I can control to improve the situation and ensure others are carrying their own loads. I am of full understanding and acceptance this will not be an overnight solution. And I am committed to this as it is the only way I will be relieved of some of my work so I can do and think about more important things.
That example is a physical one. It will be evident from my To Do List the progress I have made. The really hard ones will be the emotional ones. The feelings of resentment that have shaped who I am today and potentially caused me to adapt into a 2.0 version when 1.7 was the best upgrade for this model.
It will be a long journey. My aim is in a years time when I am reflecting once again at the amazing fashion of the Golden Globes to be able to read back on this post and think, “I was right.”
“if I can see it in my mind. I can hold it in my hand”