Andrea Afrominx

Asking for Help

There is something really human in asking for help.

I’m not sure if it is because we all have an intrinsic need to help other people. Or if it’s because, as collected to the world as we are virtually, there is a piece of all of us that is kept private. And finding out that there is someone else struggling through, helps us to feel less alone. And more together.

I have never been a fan of asking for help

Not because I think it’s weak. Well, maybe I did when I was younger. But now I don’t like asking for help, because I don’t want to ask the wrong person for help. Then I get help that isn’t really needed. The kind of talking in circles help. When the person assisting doesn’t really know what to do, but is trying their best.

And because of that, I don’t usually ask for help. Which ultimately increases my impatience and reduces my capacity to ask for help. It’s a viscous cycle.

So when I ask for help

It’s because I really need it.

I will have gone through all my mental resources. Done some research, tried out a few things and still I can’t get a handle on what is going on. Like my mum and her Cancer. It has shown me I am a seeing is believing kind of girl. You are telling me there is Cancer there, but I can’t see it so how can I trust you?

And I don’t want to ask for help, because I don’t want the wrong kind. I want the romcom movie kind of help. The one that shows all the best bits of the help that gives the impression the right help is always there.

I am however down to earth enough to know that that kind of help is not common.

So you have to get specific when asking for help

What is if that you need help with? Who do you want help from? How long will you want the help? When do you want the help?

That way when you ask, you have a better chance of getting the “right” kind of help.

Just opening up to you guys about my mum and how difficult it has been to concentrate and be productive. Was enough for me. I wish I did it sooner. But I am a believer in everything happening for a reason, and in it’s own time.

I was blown away by the support and well wishes. Not that I didn’t think you are all kind hearted souls. More that I didn’t know what to expect. So the wave of kindness was the best outcome to me asking for help.

Until next time.

Ax

If I can see it in my mind. I can hold it in my hand.

 

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